Her third year

Three years old. She’s only one day older than she was yesterday, but I promise you, she looked older today than she did yesterday.

This third year has been a big one for Jacey Dae. She started preschool. She potty-trained. She moved into her own big girl bed. She became a big sister. And she’s taken all the changes in stride. She’s such a big girl!

She has been able to get out of her bed all by herself since we moved her to a twin-size bed in January–and yet, unbelievably, she has only gotten out of bed by herself twice. She still calls for me when she first wakes up, and waits for Mama or Daddy to come get her out of bed.

This morning, when I went in to let her get up, I stuck my head in the door and said, “What’s today?”

“I don’t know,” she replied sleepily, a little bit of a whine in her tired voice.

“It’s August 13th,” I said.

She was wide awake. She scrambled up as fast as she could, getting on her knees as I sat on the edge of her bed. “My birthday!” she exclaimed. But, in Jaceyspeak, it comes out, “My bufday!”

“Yes, your birthday!” I agreed. “How old are you?”

“I’m three!” she said, holding up three fingers. It came out, “I dee!”

“Yeah, big girl! Give me five!” I said, holding out my hand. But Jacey, so excited by her birthday, couldn’t do that. She threw her arms around me instead.

That one conversation this morning is indicative of my girl’s whole year. Jacey is such a happy girl, and she is so loving. She came through her terrible two’s about as un-terrible as we could hope for.

Oh, I admit, we had our days that were more “terrible two” than “big girl.” She still needs her afternoon naps, and she knows how to whine if she’s sleepy. But, for the most part, she is very good at turning the whine off when we ask, and her unhappy days are far outnumbered by the sweet days.

Jacey Dae loves her family, and she wishes we were all together always. She tells me sometimes in the middle of the day, “I miss–” and then you can fill in the blank with Daddy, Mimi, Gramps, Nunu, Papaw, or Aunt Chelle. If one of us tries to leave her, she often runs after us to give hugs and kisses and say, “But I will miss you!” (In Jaceyspeak, “Buh I diw mi sstoo!”) It’s much harder to leave, even just to go to the store for a few minutes, when Jacey is so obviously heartbroken at being separated from you!

She loves her cousin Haden, too, and sweetly calls him Cousin (“Duhdih”) rather than Haden. She’s making other friends her own age, playing happily after church or at play group with Mirai, Addison, Landon, Tyler, Molly, and others. Probably her favorite thing to do all summer was to give an outgrown Tinkerbell costume to Jessie Jo, a girl about a year younger than she is.

Above all, Jacey is a great big sister. She loves to kiss, hug, hold, play with, and teach her baby brother. She likes to show him books, help him push the buttons on his toys, shake his favorite stuffed bear/rattle for him when he’s fussing. She shoves a footstool over to his crib so she can stand up and see him. Her very favorite thing to do right now is to help give her baby brother a bath, even to the point of skipping playtime in her own bathtub to come help bathe him. When he cries, she says, “I know, Rylan. I know,” over and over again, getting higher and higher in pitch with each repetition. If she’s in bed for bedtime or naptime and she hears him crying from the living room or his own room, she starts yelling, “I know, Rylan!” or “Calm down! You’re okay!”

Jacey has matured so much this year. She has learned so much. Her vocabulary is huge, and it always surprises us. Just yesterday, when I told her thank you for helping me clean the house, she replied, “It was my pleasure.” And, upon seeing a big pig on tv, she told us, “That’s a giant piggy!” No vague descriptors for this girl! She is very polite, asking us, “May I have some juice please?” or “May you help me please?”

Jacey can do far more than she thinks she can. She often says, “But I can’t!” only to find that she can.

Over the last year, Jacey Dae has started singing songs on her own, learned her numbers and her letters, and gotten better at imaginative play. She tries to color in the lines. She loves to pick her own clothes out and put on her own shoes–but putting her clothes on by herself has lost its luster, so she’s content to let Mama help her do that. She dances to any kind of music and sings the songs at church–she can even sing Trust and Obey all by herself! She has learned to ride her tricycle mostly by herself, with a little help to start and occasionally for steering.

She absolutely loves to help Mama. She had a toy broom handed down from an older cousin, and she cried when it broke. Dusting and mopping are treats for her, and she never fails to try to help fold laundry and put away dishes. She sometimes gets to put up her own laundry after Mama folds it, making her drawers a little messy–but messy is good when you’re two–or, now, three.

One of the things Jacey did this year that shocked us more than anything was learn when her birthday was, without anyone ever telling her directly. It was mentioned in front of her a couple of times, and she listened and remembered. One day, a month or so ago, I asked her if she knew when her birthday was, and she said, “In thirteen August.” And today, when I told her what day it was, she knew, with no further explanation, that she was three!

This third year, I’m sure, is one that will always be pretty fuzzy for me. I lost so many months to learning how to parent two children, that I know I missed a lot of this year. But I got the important things.

Jacey Dae, you amaze me. At three years old, you are more intelligent than I ever could have thought possible. I’m seeing in you the little girl that I remember being, and I can’t wait to see you learn to use your imagination more, and love to read more, and be that little girl caregiver that I was. I love that you still come to me for hugs and kisses, that you still ask me to hold you, that you still want to sit in my lap–but I love that you also are getting more adventurous and becoming you own person. I love how loving and caring you are toward your friends and family. Really, I just love you. I said it last year, but I loved who you were, I love who you are, and I already love who you will become. You may be big, but you’re still my baby, and I’m your mama. And that means love. Even when you’re three.

Birth story

It’s amazing how quickly the details of something as monumental as the birth of your child just disappear.

I remember calling friends as I was on the way to the hospital from the doctor’s office. I remember getting to the hospital alone and waiting to get checked in, and I remember confusion because the hospital was so new and they still weren’t quite clear on procedures. Maybe I was the first mom to give birth there without pre-registering?

I got to my room by myself, with Kellen still on his way from work. I signed all the forms and was in bed, getting hooked up to the IV and monitors before Kellen got there. I never got a picture of myself with my big pregnant belly! We did get one later that evening, but somehow a hospital gown just doesn’t do justice to the big baby belly.

I was monitored for hours, and everything was fine. Jacey came up to the hospital to see me. I’m sad that I don’t remember that visit in very much detail. I think we showed her my belly? I know I hugged and kissed her, and it was maybe the last time I did so when she was an only child. She got to leave with Mimi and Gramps, so she wasn’t sad to leave me. Was I sad for her to leave? I hate that I don’t remember that! It was such a big moment for us, the end of her time as the only most important child in my life, and I don’t remember it.

My nurse started the induction that evening. I sat up in a chair for a while and watched The Music Man on the DVD-TV in my room… the room was so nice! It was huge, and on a corner, so I had two walls with windows. Kellen and I were exhausted, but I remember not wanting to go to sleep. The nurse offered me something to help me sleep, but I declined.

Kellen went to sleep. I did not.

I remember laying there and trying to sleep, feeling the contractions, thinking about what was coming. Thinking about how physically unready I was to have a baby, as Kellen had had the flu the week before, and right as he got over it, I got a stomach virus. I was just a few days out of the stomach virus, and now I was having a baby! Thinking about how mentally I both was and wasn’t ready to have a baby. Ready to meet this little boy and see Jacey be a big sister, not ready to divide my time between two kids and see Jacey not have my full attention.

Then it started. The nurse came in and said the baby was having a hard time and maybe I should roll to one side. Then she left and I tried to sleep.

Then she came back and had me roll to the other side.

Off and on for I don’t know how long, the nurse would come in and have me try something different. I would maybe doze off while she was gone, or maybe just lie there and listen to Kellen sleep.

Finally, she came in and said the baby really just wasn’t taking the Pitocin well. I wondered, from what I’ve seen on TV and read online, if the cord was wrapped around his neck. The nurse said she had called the doctor, and he said to stop the Pitocin for the night. This made me nervous. The nurse said we would start it again in the morning, and maybe he would take it better then. I, in all my medical knowledge, wondered why on earth it would go better in the morning, and started picturing a C-section, which I desperately didn’t want.

I slept a little more the rest of the night, but not much. Kelly and Lee Ann got there early in the morning, and the nurse asked if visitors could come in. Of course I said yes. Kellen woke up and said hi. They left, and we slept a little bit more.

And then we woke up for good, and it was Rylan’s birthday.

This day is all compressed in my head, and very broken up. I don’t know for sure what happened when. It’s a blur of images and emotions and feelings.

I know the Pitocin was started again. I know I got a new nurse, and I wanted my night nurse back, because she was wonderful. I know Dr. Mike, who was my OB when I was pregnant with Jacey, came in and broke my water. I know that HURT. And then I remember how gross I felt as I just kept leaking for the rest of the day. (YUCK. So not the best part of childbirth.)

I know people came to see me that day, but I can’t really remember who came before Rylan was born. Especially sad, I don’t remember if Jacey Dae came to the hospital that morning. I kind of think she didn’t, because by the time she woke up and got dressed and ready to go, I was in pain and didn’t want her to see me… but I really don’t remember, which almost makes me cry.

I remember that I went from almost no pain to pretty bad pain really quickly, and from there to really bad pain really quickly. I know I asked for drugs instead of an epidural first, because the epidrual with Jacey made pushing so much harder for me. They gave me Stadol, and I remember closing my eyes and just floating. I saw swirls of colors and things floating in the colors behind my eyes, very Twilight-Zone-y. I vividly remember Kellen holding my hand or rubbing my back, and I knew it felt good because I felt like it anchored me to my bed so I wouldn’t go floating off with the colors, and I wanted him to touch me constantly so I could feel anchored, but he would stop and I’d be disappointed. I would watch something floating away and then all of a sudden sort of look back at my body and realize that it was hurting, but that that was just fine with me.

Eventually, the Stadol wore off, and I wanted an epidural. It couldn’t come fast enough by that point. They let Kellen stay in the room and hold my hand as long as he sat down, which I appreciated. I had a contraction as I was laying down, and I got stuck laying on my left side, and the anesthesiologist was trying to hurry me onto my back or else the epidural would only work on one side.

After that, I remember the pain occasionally coming back. I had a pump of extra medicine for the epidural, but it didn’t seem to help. The anesthesiologist came back. The pain kept coming back again, though. I got sick and threw up a few times. I remember Kelly being there while Lee Ann stayed home and cleaned our house (which still makes me cringe), and I remember asking Kellen at one point after Kelly had stepped out for a minute to please not let him come back, because I didn’t want him to see me in pain like that. I remember panting and moaning, and hating the sound of it.

And then it was time to push. Dr. Todd, the doctor who actually delivered Jacey, was there, and my doctor was due in 15 minutes or so. They were trying to decide whether I or the only other mom in the hospital should deliver first, and they changed their minds a few times, but they settled on me. They set up the room for delivery, wheeling in extra tables and drapes and all sorts of stuff. Dr. Todd came in. So did 5 or 6 other nurses. As one nurse after another kept coming through the door, he smiled at me and said, “I like a full room; I hope you don’t mind.” Oh, no, not at all, I thought. This is exactly the sort of situation in which I like to be found by a bunch of strangers.

I started pushing. Thankfully, I could feel much more than I could with Jacey. I actually knew when I was doing it right and when the baby was coming down. The doctor had a medical student with him, and he was saying things like, “See the head turn?” and “Oh, look at that, isn’t that cool?” which is a little unnerving to hear your doctor say. (It turns out that Rylan flipped over as I pushed so that he was face-up. I had been in back labor most of the day, and then he had turned face down right berfore I pushed, but decided he didn’t want to make it easy for mommy, after all, and flipped back over as he came out.) Then I heard Rylan’s heart rate dropping as I pushed. A lot. I got nervous. Dr. Todd said, “Okay, we need to have this baby in the next contraction or two. You really need to push now.” And I knew I did. I remembe Kellen talking to me, although I don’t remember what he was saying, and his voice sounded nervous, too. The doctor used the vacuum pump to get Rylan’s head underneath my pelvic bone, and then it was all me. And I did it. My baby was born.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget how puple he looked as the doctor held him on his forearm. I saw him move, and I knew he was alive, but I don’t think I breathed until I heard that first cry. And then it was all about me and Rylan.

They put him on a towel on my stomach and cleaned him off a little. My nurse asked me if I wanted him skin-to-skin, and I said of course. They pulled up my gown and laid him directly on my stomach, and there has never been a better feeling than that.

Rylan looked at me. He held my finger. I talked to him. He turned pinker. I never wanted to let him go.

The doctor was talking to the medical student, telling her how to deliver a placenta; he was talking to me, telling me about the damage and what to expect for recovery. I was hearing none of it. My eyes were locked with Rylan’s.

And isn’t that what it’s all about?

He’s here!

It’s late. I’m tired. This isn’t a real birth story; this is a list of some of what happened today. I plan to come back and blog about it more formally tomorrow, but I remember, when I had Jacey, that within 24 hours I had already started to forget details through the hormonal-shocked system-pain filled fog that, from what I hear, gets many new mamas. So in case that happens again…

-Dr. Hold came in and broke my water this morning. 8:30? Really uncomfortable. Kind of painful.

-Contractions were regular and strong after that. Tried Stadol for pain- sooooo loopy. Sure didn’t care about the pain anymore!

-After Stadol wore off, decided I didn’t like loopiness. Tried to endure. Asked for epidural.

-Epidural went well, I guess. Felt it more than with Jacey. Anesthesiologist actually had a bedside manner and walked me through what he was doing, which was nice. Kellen got to stay in the room and hold my hand, which really helped.

-Pain was gone! Still felt pressure.

-Pain started coming back! Not cool. “Keep me informed,” says nurse. “Pain is a 2,” I say.

-Pain is a 4.

-PAIN IS AN 8! THIS IS BAD! FIX IT!

-Anesthesiologist came back and added a little extra shot of drugs. Took a while, but pain got better.

-Tried to nap throughout day.

-Threw up twice. Once after getting checked, which caused severe cramping on top of at-the-time painful contractions. So not pleasant.

-Progressed much faster on epidural. Baby kept staying high, even when I was all the way to “9, almost 10.”

-Cried when getting epidural because of pain/exhaustion/just being overwhelmed. Nurse realized I was freaking out a little and started encouraging me profusely. She was sweet.

-Tried to push once, just to see. “Good! I’m going to call the doctor, and we’ll probably start pushing!” Called family to get here. Then, “You’re going hand-in-hand with another mom, so dr wants you to wait and let the baby come down more so we don’t have two babies at the same time.” Rats. Dr walks in, says, “Okay, let’s push!” Wait, what? Stop changing your minds!

-Pushed through one contraction just to see. Dr says to break down bed. I start to get nauseated again.

-Pushing for real: nauseated through each push. Afraid I’m going to throw up while pushing. Actually burping while pushing. Then baby’s heartrate drops. Majorly. I didn’t hear a number, but I would guess it went from 160, where it had been, to 40 or so. Freaked out, quietly. Got put on oxygen. Terrified I’m going to throw up in the oxygen mask. Dr says “We need to have this baby in the next contraction or two, so push really hard.” (PS- what do you think I’ve been doing??) “I might use a little vacuum.” Oh no! I don’t want Rylan’s head bruised like Jacey’s was! But of course, he obviously needs to get out, now, whatever it takes. Next contraction- vacuum just to get him under my pubic bone. And then I had a baby! I think it took just 4 or maybe 5 contractions. Definitely just 15-20 minutes of pushing. 1/10th of the time it took to have Jacey. Dude, the next kid’s going to fall out on his own.

-Baby had cord wrapped twice around his neck. Looked pretty purple to my non-trained eye. Was moving and looking around, but not crying. Dr had to work to get that first noise! Absolute best sound I’ve ever heard.

-Baby went to towel on my belly. When he was fairly clean, my gown came up and he went straight to my belly. Best feeling ever. Wish they would’ve done this with Jacey!

-Dr, stitching me up, talks about the damage and what to expect. I have no idea what he’s saying. I’m talking to my son. Nobody exists but me, Rylan, and Kellen, taking pictures.

-Kellen, at some point, texts Nunu in the waiting room. Suddenly, I have a crowd outside my room. Keep hearing Jacey squealing and saying, “My baby!” So precious. Such a sweet memory.

-Seemed to take FOREVER for the first little check-up to get done. 6 lb 12 oz, 20 inches long. APGAR score of 9, 9 (out of 10).

-I held Rylan. Dada went out and brought in Jacey. She was excited to see Baby Rylan, but a little wary. Didn’t really want to sit on Mama’s bed. Until Rylan got passed off to… Nunu? Already forgot. Then Mama mentioned present, and Jacey was happy to stay. Mimi and Aunt Chelle had found it, but it was from Mama–a family of teeny tiny elephants, with a Mama, Dada, boy, and girl. She instantly understood that they represented us. Shocked how much she understood!

And I guess that’s the important stuff. I’ll write it prettily tomorrow, and maybe add a little more about Rylan meeting the family and the rest of his first day. Thank you to any of you readers who were praying! I’m thrilled. I feel so much better than when I had Jacey, it’s like I haven’t even had a kid. Love him so much! I have a family of 4! Can’t wait to go home and start living our life together.

Oh oh oh! -Baby delivered by Dr. Holt (Todd) even though Dr. Heineman was just 15 minutes away. She got here right as he was stitching me up. I was still comforted to see her, even though she hadn’t delivered!

Good morning

Well, “good” may be pushing it a little.

Last night, Kellen went home to get a razor for me (one of the first questions I asked after I was admitted was whether or not I could shave, since I”d been putting it off until the weekend and I felt like a man and I know I won’t want to shave shortly after having a baby! Silly, I know, but I just feel better with freshly shaved legs!), a book for him, and a few other things we didn’t expect to need in the hospital bag just yet. He brought back Singin’ in the Rain, so we put that in after my shower, around 9:30.

We had planned on getting away from Jacey this week to go see a movie. This wasn’t quite what I had in mind.

Anyway, around 11, we turned off the movie to get some sleep. Now, I’m wearing two monitors on my belly–one for the baby’s heartrate and one for my contractions–and an IV on my left hand. My bed is not comfortable, to say the least. I can’t even get comfortable in my own bed anymore, at 9 months pregnant, much less in a narrow, not-very-well-padded hospital bed! So I couldn’t sleep. Kellen, on the other hand, on his little pull-out couch bed (it’s a tiny little two-seater that actually lengthens into a narrow little bed instead of pulling out from the back like “real” couch beds), was asleep in less than five minutes.

At 11:30, I called the nurse (her name was Celinda, and she was really sweet. I’ll miss her today!) and asked her to come help me get unhooked so I could go to the bathroom. Rylan was dancing on my bladder. After that, knowing they were starting the pitocin at midnight and that that requires continuous monitoring, I begged to have the monitors left off for a while.

So I slept maybe 15 minutes.

Then, at midnight, the nurse came back to start the Pitocin. Within 5 minutes, I was feeling stronger contractions. I had been having them consistently all evening, but the drugs really amped up the power behind them. Still no pain, but not something I could easily sleep through.

After the nurse had been in and out several times helping me go to the bathroom and/or rearrange the monitors as I tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable–impossible, even with the two extra pillows she brought me to help prop up my back and belly–I had to go on oxygen at some point. The baby wasn’t responding well to the Pitocin. His baseline heartrate had dropped when I went on it; not during contractions, just overall. Nothing too scary, the nurse said, just not where he had been before.

There was no way I was sleeping with an oxygen mask on. After a while, the nurse let me leave it off. I dozed off for maybe 20 minutes again, and then she came in around 2 am to see if we could get his heartrate up again.

I was rolling back and forth, trying different positions, and put back on oxygen. Knowing I wouldn’t sleep, I sat up, turned on the lights, and started to read my book.

Kellen, meanwhile, slept.

Just a couple of minutes after she left the room, the nurse came back in. She had called my on-call doctor and told him what was happening, and he said to just stop the Pitocin. We’ll try again in the morning.

So at some point after 2 this morning, the drugs were stopped. Rylan’s heartrate almost immediately went back up, and I got to take off the oxygen mask. I finally got comfortable with the monitors on and fell asleep.

About 4:30, I think it was, the nurse came back in to check on me and told me I had some visitors and could they come in? Of course, I let my in-laws come in. They had left Bonham in the wee hours of the morning and were just getting to Katy. Kellen even slept through several minutes of their visit! I wish I could sleep like him.

After they left, I barely dozed off. I think I’m running on three hours or less of sleep; it’s hard to remember. The nurse shift just changed so I’m back to Lacey, one of the nurses who admitted me last night. She seems nice but not as understanding as my night nurse, who turned her head when I snuck sips of water after being on the oxygen and getting all dried out! And Lacey restarted my Pitocin and already upped the dose, and so far Rylan is handling it better than last night. I’m waiting on the doctor to come in and probably break my water in the next hour or so.

I really hope the Pitocin works this time! I’m praying for a healthy baby boy, no matter what–but I’m hoping we can do this without a c-section. That just sounds scary to me, and heartbreaking, too, since I wouldn’t be able to hold him immediately! So, come on, Rylan, tolerate that Pitocin! Whatever you didn’t like about it last night… I hope it’s changed. I want to meet you soon!

Jacey Dae

My parents just came up and brought Jacey to see me. She was certainly energetic! I could hear her talking as she came down the hall to my room. (Room 6, by the way. A corner room that looks out on I-10. It’s nice.) She ran in and certainly didn’t come jump in bed with me, but she seemed happy to see me, and not as scared as I thought she’d be of the unfamiliar surroundings. She jumped on the couch first thing, then Mimi showed her the rocking chair, and, oh, that was fun. She saw Baby Rylan’s bed. She went pee-pee in the potty in my room. It took a while to convince her to get in bed with me, but she did, and she liked playing with the buttons that make the bed go up and down.

We finally got video of her singing to Baby Rylan! I asked the nurse to take off the monitors, so we pulled up my gown so she could see my belly, and Jacey felt Rylan move in my belly–for the last time!–and sang “Itty Bitty Frog” to him, which is almost the only song she’ll sing by herself. It’s actually not a song; it’s more of a chant that says “I’m an itty-bitty frog and God loves me” three times, followed by “Croak, croak, croak.” Then you do the same for a medium-sized frog and a great big frog, and you use a tiny little high voice for itty-bitty, a normal voice for medium size, and a big deep voice for great big. You make two fingers into a puppet for itty-bitty, and your whole hand for medium size, and both hands with arms outstretched for great big. When Jacey sings it, she only sings each verse one time, and her itty-bitty and medium size voice are the same, but it’s just precious. We haven’t videoed her singing that to Rylan yet, and when I realized that, sitting here in the hospital bed, I almost cried. I was afraid she wouldn’t do it tonight, and we’d never catch it for future watching. But she cooperated!

She gave big kisses and hugs, and saw her picture sitting on my table, and was silly, and went down to see the baby in the nursery–yes, only one there right now. Jacey was very happy and very energetic.

Of course, when she left, I cried. My mom talks about crying when my sister was born because I had no idea how my life was about to change; now, I’m doing the same for my daughter. I already regret that I won’t be able to give her as much attention as I used to, even though that’s part of why we wanted her to have a sibling! I know she’ll love Rylan. I know they’ll play together. I know I’ll still be a good mother to her. But our lives are about to change hugely, and that’s always a little bit scary and makes you a little bit wistful.

I’m so proud of my big girl. Jacey Dae, I love you so much. You are my first baby, and you will always be my first baby. I’m going to love you brother, too–but he’ll never be my first baby. He’ll never be my baby girl. You always will be.

0 days left

Wait, what?

Yes, that’s right. We were planning on inducing on Sunday, but here I sit in the hospital, awaiting my son. Here’s how my day’s gone:

I woke up too tired to open my eyes. You know, one of those days where you brush your teeth with your eyes closed because you’re just that sleepy. But I managed to get Jacey and myself dressed, packed, and out the door on time for preschool.

We got there and I Lysoled everything in sight. You pretty much couldn’t breathe. But that stomach bug I had, and Jacey got, and Nunu and Gramps got? Lots and lots of Yellow Brick Road families had it. It HAD to have started there, no doubt. And I really didn’t want to re-catch it, so I sanitized everything. All the parents walking down the hallway to drop off their kids who knew about the stomach bug said, “Mmm, smells good down here! Sanitized!”

I left school at 1:45, right at the end of naptime, to get to my doctor’s appointment at Memorial City on time. My doctor’s Katy office, see, is in the process of moving to a new building, so I had to go all the way down there for this last check-up and ultrasound before we scheduled the induction. On the way, I called my mom to verify how everything would go when she picked up Jacey Dae from preschool and took her home for naptime, and I stopped at Jack-in-the-box for a truly healthy snack: bacon cheddar potato wedges wtih sour cream and a Coke. (In my defense, I ran out of bread after making Jacey’s sandwich this morning, so my lunch was just applesauce and peach-flavored yogurt.)

At the doctor, I got the ultrasound first. “How big was your first child?” the tech, who was not the one I’ve seen every other time, asked. I told her not too big, but she had a big head. “This baby has a big head, too,” she told me. Of course! I found out how he was laying (head down, face up–you want head down, face down for labor so that the skull isn’t pushing against your backbone and a narrower part of the head comes out first, but head down is what matters most), what he weighed (6 lb, 2 oz), and that one of his kidneys is again dilated to “abnormal” levels, but just barely.

And then I saw the doctor. She checked my dilation (3 cm, yay, progress!) and then, as I sat up, was talking through Rylan’s measurements. She was sort of talking to herself in medical-ese, and I didn’t really know what she was talking about until she said, “I’m trying to figure out if this is an argument for IUGR, and induction now.” Now, I thought. As in before 40 weeks, so this weekend.

Um, no. As it turned out, “now” meant tonight. IUGR stands for intrauterine growth restriction. Rylan’s weight measures in the 20th percentile; his head, in the 90th (thanks a lot, Kellen). But his belly and femur were measuring in the 4th or 5th percentile. Apparently, IUGR is usually either symmetrical, with everything measuring small, or asymmetrical, with head and legs small but belly big (or maybe vice versa; I can’t remember). So this doesn’t really fit the mold for IUGR. But since I’m considered full term now, the doctor decided it would be better to go ahead and get Rylan out now, so we’re sure nothing is restricting his growth. Those numbers sound really off to me, from 4th to 90th percentile, and I’m definitely not a doctor, so I don’t know what’s going on. But since it doesn’t fit the usual patterns for IUGR, maybe I just have a really out-of-proportion baby.

Either way, they put me on a monitor to check baby’s heartrate and my contractions. After 15 minutes on the monitor, the doctor decided I was good to come back out to Katy so I could deliver at Methodist as planned. But she told me not to even bother going home.

So I came straight here and got admitted! Called people on the way, pulled Kellen out of training to answer his phone and tell him he’s having a son tonight, thought about everything I haven’t done yet. They’ve got me on a monitor and IV, and I was allowed to eat dinner. I can’t eat or drink after midnight, though, when they’ll start the Pitocin to get me really contracting. I’m already contracting now, but I think they’re just Braxton-Hicks contractions, which means they’re not effective at changing my cervix; they’re just practice for my uterus.

So here’s my plan for blogging: I’m just gonna do it. There is no plan. I don’t usually like double-posting on any given day, but I’m going to do it now. And this is really more journaling for my own sake than anything else, so if you don’t want to hear about my cervix dilation, I recommend you stay away from the blog until you see baby pictures. Because I’m writing this for me and my son, so we know how he got here.

Because, dude, he’s almost here. Unbelievably. This baby is coming.

Happy birthday to me

Well, I’m officially old. Until tomorrow.

See, my birthday was Friday. Kellen’s is Monday. Being that he’s a year older than me, I always get to call him old. He tries to claim that I can’t call him old for the three days that we’re the same age, but I have decided that, rather than concede that he’s not old, I’ll just be old for those three days, too.

(Incidentally, I’m 26. Not so old, I know, but he will ALWAYS be older than me!)

My birthday started at midnight. (Of course.) We stayed up past midnight on the 16th–I don’t even remember why anymore, we’ve been so busy lately–so Kellen gave me my birthday present before we went to bed. He got me some very pretty earrings. The next morning, he woke me up with his customary good-morning-good-bye kiss before he goes to work, saying, “Happy birthday!” After that, Jacey chose to sleep in until 9:45, so I got to sleep in until 9:00 and then have some quiet time before she got up! What a nice start to the day. Gramps called around the time Jacey was waking up and offered to bring over breakfast, so I got kolaches for breakfast, too!

Late in the morning, with nothing much to do, I decided we’d make use of the zoo membership Mimi and Gramps bought in October and head to the zoo. So I packed up a lunch, lugged the wagon into the back of the van (that’s fun to do while pregnant, let me tell you), finally got Jacey dressed in her Christmas shirt, Christmas socks, and Christmas bow, and got us into the car. It took forever to get ready for such a big trip all by myself! I didn’t tell her where we were going, either, so it would be a surprise–which meant Jacey had absolutely no urgency about getting ready to go. I was a little stressed by the time we left.

I was shocked at how much traffic was on the roads in the middle of the day. I hate 610.

We eventually made it to the zoo, though, and we had a great time! Just Mama and Jacey. We watched some big antelope-gazelle-like things eat lunch, and Jacey would have stayed there all day, watching the zoo keeper hand-feeding them lettuce and carrots. But what she was most excited about, since they were put away when we were last there, was the giraffes. They were out in force this time, and thank goodness! She showed them to her little stuffed animal, Gerry Giraffe, then promptly got distracted because the giraffes are right next to the carousel.

We rode the carousel, played in the children’s zoo, and got to explore the new African Forest which just opened. It’s very Disney-esque, with a story throughout the new exhibits and hidden creatures to find along the pathway. The chimpanzee exhibit is so big we could hardly see the chimps; they were all at the back behind the trees. They seemed happy, though.

By the time we were done with the African Forest, it was so very far past naptime. So we headed home, and I didn’t mind the traffic so much (even though it was rush hour–bad planning there, Mama!) because Jacey slept through all of it and I got some nice peace and quiet.

When we got home, I was desperate for a bathroom. The baby likes my bladder a little too much! So I had Kellen come out and sit with the still-sleeping Jacey in the van while I literally ran inside. He decided to let her sleep a little longer, so I stayed inside to wrap some presents, and, after a few minutes, heard them come inside. “Can you come here?” he asked. “She’s really sleepy… she’s a little out of it.” Not sure why that meant he needed me, I went to meet them in the entryway….

and ran into Sarah and Ryan, two of our good friends who moved to San Antonio 6 months ago and who we haven’t seen since they left!

I was so surprised. And so excited! I’ve really been missing them, and really wanted to go to SA to see them, but the last few months have been so stinkin’ busy we haven’t been able to go. Oh–this was, by the way, the second time in a week and a half that Kellen completely surprised me. More about that in a later post.

We all headed out to dinner with my parents at Red Lobster, then we went to our friend Natalie’s new house for a game night with our group of friends from church. Nobody but Kellen and my parents knew that Sarah and Ryan were coming into town, so they surprised everyone else, too. We had cake and played Apples to Apples (and even though I said the game wouldn’t be over til the birthday girl won, Sarah trounced all of us) and then headed home. Once Jacey was asleep, the adults stayed up until 2 am talking and catching up. I am far too old and/or pregnant to stay up so late now, but it was so good to talk to old friends again! And at least everybody (even Jacey) slept in the next morning, so we still got some sleep.

And that was my birthday! 26. When I think about the number, I realize how young I am to have two kids (even if one is still inside me) and a house and the life that I have, and I know I’m blessed. I never wanted to live my life differently–never desired a time when I could live in a bustling city or work at a real career or be in a fancy apartment all by myself. I know the choices Kellen and I have made have led us to this point in our lives long before other people get here–this point where our lives belong to our children, and we have very little flexibility because of it, and we never seem to have quite enough money. But I wouldn’t trade this life I have at 26 for any other life. I’m excited for the years to come–but I’m so happy with where I am right now, this year.

And that, I think, makes it happy birthday, indeed.

Birthday party, part 4

And, finally, finally, finally, when everybody was done with cupcakes, we let them run free. Finally. You would have thought we’d made them wait a lifetime.

Mamas helped the little bitty ones, and I think everybody had a good time.

It took Jacey a while to jump in with the other kiddos, but eventually she dove in.

Of course, the boys had to be boys…

And they went right to baseball after they had gotten cooled down in the water. And I assume that that is what led to this:

Poor little Tyler! He calmed down pretty quickly, though, and rejoined the kids to have more fun.

Meantime, a big cousin was helping Jacey Dae learn what big kids do with water toys!

And just look at little Travis’s smile. I think he was enjoying himself!

Here’s what Alyssa was trying to teach Jacey:

And still the boys entertained themselves.

Outside time was definitely a hit!

Slowly, as kids tired out, all the guests trickled away until all that was left was Nunu and Papaw and Kellen’s uncle, Bill (real name David but the family calls him Bill), and his three kiddos. It was nice to have some time with this branch of the family that we don’t get to see nearly as often as we should, given how close we live.

The boys loved Jacey’s rocking horse–Cocoa, made by my Grandaddy when I was little–and rode him non-stop. Then we were treated to a show while one of them sang us songs at the top of his lungs until his face turned red and his neck stood out in cords. There were songs about superheroes and cowboys and I don’t even remember what all.

We were all cracking up, and Cade or Carson (I still can’t tell them apart!) was thrilled at the attention. Kellen got video of him showing off for us, and the boys loved watching it afterwards.

Aren’t the cousins cute together?

Finally, even Bill and the kids had to head home, and the party was over. I think I maybe helped put Jacey to bed–maybe–and was asleep before Lee Ann and Kellen were done cleaning up. Hosting a massive birthday party for a two-year-old is tough when you’re  in your first trimester!

But it was a wonderful party. Everybody from the grandparents on down to the babies seemed to have a good time, and I know for sure the birthday girl had a fabulous time.

Although I have to say I’m glad we don’t have to do it again for a whole year. But then–after that–we’ll have another one and be doing these twice a year! Yikes. Scary thought.

Oh, well. Happy birthday, baby girl! I’m glad you loved your party.

Birthday party, part 3

After presents, it was time for cake! Well, cupcakes. Nunu had baked cupcakes and made a yummy icing which I think had marshmallow fluff in it? That’s how much I helped; I don’t even know what was in it! And then she decorated the tops of most of them with mini M&Ms and arranged some on a cake platter for the candles. Jacey didn’t mind being the center of attention while everybody sang to her!

She still doesn’t blow very hard or aim very well (when we tell her to blow on hot food to cool it off, she sticks out her bottom lip so she is basically blowing lightly up her own nose), so she had a little help to blow out her candles.

Thanks to the big cousin Ryan Kate!

But Jacey certainly knew just what to do with that cupcake:

Eat all the icing right off the top! I gave her one cupcake, and somebody else gave her one, and she helped herself to one, and I looked up later and she had another… I’m pretty sure by the time the party was all said and done, Jacey Dae had had herself four or five cupcakes. But just the tops. She loves that icing and M&Ms!

I asked Nunu to leave a few cupcakes iced but not decorated and got out my stash of pretty sparkles and sprinkles and extra candy, and the bigger kids went to town decorating their own pretty little cupcakes.

Even though most of the sprinkles I had were girly colors (bought on clearance after Easter!), the boys didn’t seem to mind too much.

Landon worked on his cupcake longer than anyone else, I think, and was just as happy as could be to decorate it. I’m not sure if he even wanted to eat it!

He had layer upon layer of sugar on that cupcake by the time he was done. Of course, maybe that was his goal all along….

Landon and Kaylee’s brother, Tyler, was too little to decorate his cupcake all by himself, being five weeks younger than Jacey, but he didn’t mind too much.

And some of the kids weren’t interested in cupcakes at all!

Baby Ben, one of Jacey’s favorite people in the world, was far more intrigued by a ball.

Boys will be boys!

And some of the bigger girls were more interested in babies than cupcakes.

But one little girl was completely oblivious that there were other kids playing with all her toys:

And isn’t that appetizing?

Birthday party, part 2

It was present time! Jacey Dae was already excited by all the people in the house, and she was ready to open all those pretty boxes and bags.

So were the other kids.

We let the other kids (these are Kellen’s cousins–can you tell they’re twins?) help open a present or two. Isn’t it funny how excited kids get about other kids’ presents? It doesn’t matter that they don’t get to keep what’s inside, and it doesn’t matter if they open the presents or not; they’re just excited to crowd around and watch.

In any case, Jacey knew just what to do.

She really didn’t even need our help.

And, as soon as Jacey got them open, there was no shortage of kids to take the toys off her hands so she could move on to the next one!

Mirai (who was at her first non-family birthday party!) was so eager to play with the baby doll that she wouldn’t even let me open it for her.

Here’s a better picture of her so you can see how cute she really is:

Did she not look party-ready? (And check out the Mickey Mouses on her shoes! My kinda kid!)

Jacey got two baby dolls, and even the boys were ready to play with them when they came out of their wrapping.

One of Jace’s favorite presents was from Ms. Natalie, aka Na-na. She got a purse and a bunch of jewelry and other girly things to fill it up with.

She got so many presents, even though we told our friends they weren’t necessary! Jacey came away with dress up clothes (a Tinkerbell dress and Little Mermaid high heels, no less), two baby dolls that move and make noise, a baby doll set with crib and bouncer and other stuff, more crayons and a coloring book, a puzzle made by my Grandaddy, clothes, and more. The biggest present was probably the tricycle from Mimi and Gramps, which Jacey can’t quite pedal yet, but she still loves to “ride”!

After presents, with all the kids standing at the sliding glass doors and gazing longingly at the water toys set up in the backyard, we decided to have cupcakes really quickly before we let everyone go–mainly because I wanted the pictures with Jacey still in her dress, and the thought of letting everybody get all wet, then dry off to come in for cupcakes, then certainly wanting to go back out and play again, was completely daunting. So we got ready to eat the sweets….